Today I want to start telling you a story. I know for sure it will be a 2 post story but it could possibly be more. This isn’t any story. This is the story of how God has changed my life over the past few
Since 2008 my dream was to work for a record label or in the entertainment industry in some way. In 2009 my dream got a little stronger as I interned with Integrity Music, which represented some of the top worship leaders in the world, Hillsong, Kari Jobe, Israel Houghton, New Life Worship, Jared Anderson, and we could go on and on… I just knew God was opening doors. I was meeting great people who were pulling for my dream to be realized. After interning and returning home, in early 2010 I started to realize that dream wasn’t going to happen like I had “dreamed” it would! My heart was a bit broken to say the least. I didn’t give up and kept going after my dreams, resumes being sent daily to entertainment agencies, record labels, and marketing firms all over the country. I heard NOTHING back. I am thankful for those years in my life. Years where I met friends that I still hold dear in my heart. But, one thing was clearing up… 2010 wasn’t the time for that part of my life.
In April 2010 things started changing in my church life, which meant things drastically changed in my personal life, because basically they have always been one in the same. I was asked to be interim worship leader at our church, Harvest Church, for a bit. After much “flip-flopping” I decided God wanted me to become the Worship & Creative Arts Pastor at Harvest Church. I recently realized that what was happening during this time, and actually for a couple of years, was that my flesh was mourning what seemed to be the loss of a dream, and it actually was the loss of MY dream. For a long time I focused on this loss. I think I focused so much on the loss of my dream that I couldn’t fully focus on what God had placed right in front of me; I couldn’t fully grasp God’s dream/plan for my life because I was still grasping so tightly to my own dream & plans. I was looking everywhere else for how He was going to bless me and not looking at where He was already clearly and fully blessing me right where I was.
For 2 years of my life I was going through the everyday tasks and actually, loving my life; I just wasn’t fully engaged and valuing the chapter of my life that I was in, pouring into those around me, and letting those around me pour into me. Every Sunday I would get up, go to church, do my job (LOVING IT), lead in worship (something I have always been passionate about), lead people, and serve with others. I loved all of these things that I was doing but when I would go home or when the crowd would leave LIFEGroup or other gatherings at my house I would find myself wondering if I would always be in the same place. See, my life was very different from most of my friends who were getting married, getting into serious relationships, planning the next steps of their lives, graduating (which I had already done, but still). It simply seemed that everyone was so excited about the next chapter in their lives and I was completely unsure of what the next chapter was. For all I knew I was living exactly what the rest of my life would look like and that FREAKED me out.
Please, don’t get me wrong. I loved my life, loved my family, loved my friends, was never depressed, and hardly ever stayed home by myself because I could always find somewhere to go with someone that I cared for and who cared for me. My life was great but something was off kilter…
** Tomorrow you will get part 2 of this blog, which is where the exciting change comes into play.**